Did you see this fascinating "Modern Love" column in the New York Times on Monday? It's about the research of Dr. Arthur Aron who claims that by sitting two strangers down together and having them ask each other these 36 questions and then stair at each other for four minutes almost anyone can learn to fall in love. The author of the article tried it out herself -- the article is well worth reading to find out the result.
I LOVE this idea! I can definitely see how why this works -- emotional intimacy can be so hard to build, in any type of relationship, and the idea of really diving in with someone seems like a great way to get past the BS really fast. Would you ever try this?
Last weekend Patrick and I woke up at the break of dawn and
boarded a boat to Victoria, BC for a little getaway weekend. Believe it or not
it was the first time that we have gotten away together without Mylo! This was
totally unintentional but to be honest I’m kicking myself for not making it
happen sooner. We are both so independent that we have had lots of time away from
Mylo individually but just haven’t made the effort to get away together. It was
sooo fun! It made us both look
even more forward to our trip to Argentina in February. I love my child but it
was very refreshing to just have Patrick and I together, like it was for the
seven years before he was born.
We stayed at the historical Empress Hotel right on the waterfront
in a very classy Victorian-style room. Most people hit the Butchart Gardens and
have "high tea" but we really just wanted to relax and take it easy so we mostly
wandered around the cute little streets, popped into shops, ate delicious food
and took in the festive décor of the city. Our one planned activity was a trip
to the Willow Stream Spa in our hotel—which both of us agreed were some of the
best treatments we've ever had.
One of the highlights in Victoria for us was
the Victoria Public Market, which is a fabulous indoor open market with great
little local restaurants, cheeses, wine, vegetables, olive oils, etc. We
wandered around in there and Patrick had “the best grilled cheese of his life”
at Salt Spring Island Cheese. We also had a great dinner at The Mint and divine brunch at Jam Cafe. We'll be back!
Have you seen the preview for the new movie While We're Young? It looks really good to me. Is it weird that I relate more to the older couple than the younger one? 30 is kind of that in-between age I guess, not a “carefree” twenty-something
but also not a full blown adult yet. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking….
Will you see the movie? Check out the preview below, I hope it gets good reviews.
I am very particular about how to fold towels, to the point that I refold when Patrick does them because it drives me crazy in the cupboard! Also, we can never decide what to eat (and by we I mean me).
As I mentioned, Patrick and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary last Friday. This was actually the first year since we were married in Tacoma that we've spent the day in Washington State. Our first anniversary was in Florida, then South Africa, Dublin, Oregon wine country and now finally WA! I'm 36 weeks pregnant so it wasn't really an option to go far away this year, and I felt like a weekend away would be too much for me at this point (not to mention we're trying to save for the baby).
So we opted for a low key evening in our own Seattle neighborhood, Wallingford. We walked a block from our house to one of our favorite local restaurants, Cantinetta. We lucked out with gorgeous weather and were able to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine and peekaboo views of Lake Union. I know this sounds silly and cliche, but I felt like I was actually transported to Europe or something. We ordered a half a dozen small plates (melon and prosciutto, freshly made sausage, spinach gnocchi, green beans and burrata, etc). Everything was freshly made, summery and delicious. I can't recommend this place enough, just make sure to get there early or plan to wait, they don't take reservations for parties under six.
When Patrick and I lived in Dublin and traveled around Europe we found it was common to have two twin size duvets on a larger bed. I've mentioned that we are fitful sleepers so we loved having our own blankets but still getting to sleep in the same bed.
Our new place has a big master bedroom so we finally took the plunge and bought a king size bed! Now that I'm in the market for new bedding I'm thinking of "going Scandinavian" and doing two comforters with a blanket covering them at the end. What do you think, too weird or genius idea?
Over the five and half years that Patrick and I have been together we've had two extended periods of time where we were in a “long-distance” relationship. The first was when we were dating/engaged before Patrick moved from Seattle to join me in Washington DC. And the second is now. You may have been wondering why I spend so much time in Oregon? It’s because Patrick works in Portland full-time.
For us, living apart is a choice that we made (and continue to make) based on a desire to establish our careers and be close to family in Seattle. I joke with Patrick sometimes that “we never chose the easy way” because we tend to seek out adventure and have a high tolerance for risk in our lives. Sometimes this works out well and we high-five each other for living life by our own rules. And sometimes life gets really hard and we have to push through to achieve an outcome that we are committed to.
Keeping in mind that we are by no means experts (nor do we want to be-- ugh), here are a few things we’ve learned along the way:
Funny faces during FaceTime :)
- Beintentional about the time we do spend together. Because we only are together on the weekends, it’s easy for all of our time to get filled with social engagements, family dinners, happy hours with friends, etc, etc. It is essential that we block time for just the two of us since we don’t get this on the weekdays. We’ve tried to spend one entire weekend a month just the two of us (Cannon Beach and the Willamette Valley were two of my favorites!).
- We both hate talking on the phone and Patrick is not a fan of Skype but we have learned that consistent Skyping/FaceTiming/phone calls are a must. Sharing the little details of each other’s day can feel mundane but is really what keeps us connected throughout the work week apart. Patrick does love FaceTiming with Rafa (our kitty) though, go figure. ;)
- Recoginze when you’re overwhelmed. Sometimes I start to get annoyed and short with Patrick and unless I take a step back and can acknowledge, “yes, this is hard and it’s getting to me” I tend to let things bottle up. It is HARD living apart and it's good to keep some perspective.
Patrick put this up on the bulletin board.
- Have a sense of humor about it. It's important to not have every conversation be super serious or "planning" for future activities since we don't get to have as many of them as we'd like. One thing I love about P is his ability to keep things light and make me laugh even when things get rough.
I’m fresh out of new ideas at this point though, would LOVE to hear any tips from you all out there about how to keep a relationship strong from far away!
Today Patrick and I celebrate four years of marriage - my how time flies. It seems like just yesterday that we were at the alter saying "I Do" and now we have a Bachelor's Degree in marriage! On the other hand we've packed a lot into our little marriage so far - we've lived on three different continents and both coasts of the US, held seven different jobs between the two of us, earned an MBA (I count this as my accomplishment as well :) ) and became aunt and uncle for the first time.
Back when we were in premarital counseling during our engagement our pastor asked us if we could describe, in one word, what we would like our life to look like in the next five years. We both gave the same answer: adventure.
So, here's to the next adventure baby, there's no one I'd rather live life with. xo
Happy 30th anniversary to my extraordinary parents!
Their love and commitment to each other through three decades is truly something to celebrate. I am one lucky girl to have such fabulous parents. Here's to many more happy years to come!
Don’t you hate it when run into someone you should know, but you can't remember their name? Or you meet someone new, chat for a few minutes and realize their name has already slipped your mind because your so caught up in the discussion of who's cat did something cuter that day.
How do you remember names? Any good tips or tricks out there?
I consider myself to be a bit of a name wuss and yes, I just came up with that very technical term. What I mean is, I'll be 97% sure of the name of the person in front of me, but then a little voice in my head will say, "Are you really, really sure?" and I second guess myself, continuing the conversation using lots of pronouns. Meanwhile a battle of wits is going on in my head: "Matt? It's Matt! But what if it's Mike???"
I picked up a helpful trick from my parents long ago, a tag-team of sorts. My dad isn’t always great with names so when we'd run into someone who knew my dad, I remember my mom often quickly introducing herself to he/she who could not be named when she'd see that my dad wasn't making the introduction. Jason and I both do this for each other from time to time now. That way, forgotten name introduces themselves and the name forgetter only has to say, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you guys hadn't met before..." or something along those lines.
The clip above from House Bunny always makes me laugh. Perhaps I should try that technique...
For my birthday, Patrick and I spent the weekend at Snoqualmie Falls, less than an hour’s drive east of Seattle. Being that I’ve lived in WA state my whole life, I’m ashamed to say it was my first time visiting this stunning waterfall! We were spoiled rotten at the Salish Lodge which is perched directly above the falls. I would highly recommend the lodge for a romantic weekend away or a girls spa weekend -- every single room includes a wood burning fireplace and a Jacuzzi soaking tub for two!
We had a wonderful time soaking away our stress in the spa, eating delicious food in the Attic bar and Restaurant (try the smoked salmon hash for brunch, to die for!), and walking around taking in the natural beauty (amidst the rain of course!)
Definitely want to go back in the summer to do some hiking!
There are many reasons to have engagement photos taken: pictures for invites, photo guestbook, wall art for your new place, proof for your future grandkids that you were, in fact, young and attractive. All good reasons, but I’d say thebiggest reason to do engagement photos is to get to know your photographer, get familiar with their style of shooting and get comfortable in front of the camera. For most people, the last time they had their pictures taken professionally was as a high school senior, so getting in front of the camera before the big day is a great way to get loosened up and know what to expect.
What to Wear
Every shoot is different, but I typically suggest that couples bring 2 outfits, an everyday one and a more dressy one. Be bold, but stick with your style, don't wear something that you are going to feel self-conscious posing in. For sartorial inspiration, look at your favorite store’s catalog or website and see how they are dressing couples together in shots. I'd check out JCrew or Urban Outfitters. If you aren't sure what is going to photograph best, bring options and have your photographer help you choose.
Have a Vision
We love it when people have a specific vision,
idea or style in mind. Does your wedding have a motif or style you'd like to stick with? Style ideas can come from anything, your favorite store, a TV show, other photos you've seen, a time period, etc. Think about what made you pick your
photographer-what about his/her style do you want to see in your
photos? If you don’t have a specific idea, that's totally fine. Start by thinking about the type of
backgrounds you want to have. Do you want city backdrops, or more rural-modern
buildings or vintage brick? Is there a place that is special to
you two? All of these things can help in picking a location and deciding on what style of clothes to bring.
Mad Men inspired engagement photo shoot.
Engagement photo canvas prints make great reusable wedding decor.
Display them at the wedding, then hang them in your home.
A few last words of advice... have fun on the shoot. Go into it with the mindset that it's going to be great. It always takes a few minutes to warm up to being in front of the camera, but don't worry about that. Let your photographer take care of getting awesome shots. Just relax, be playful and enjoy each other.
All photos JKoe Photography Wanna see more photos? OK, here you go...
Have you seen Two for the Road starring Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney? It's one of my all time favorite movies. In it, you see the ups and downs of a relationship over the course of 12 years. Long term relationship stories are hard to find in romantic comedies. So many movies end with the boy and girl kissing and the audience is left to assume they live happily ever which we all know is not how it works in real life. With its non-linear plot and ability to include real aspects of a relationship, I guess you could call it a precursor to 500 Days of Summer.
Other random reasons this movie might interest you:
Someone at The Simpsons must love this movie too! A few years ago, the cartoon spoofed the movie.
Does Albert Finney look familiar? Try to imagine him a bit older, bald and singing with a red-headed orphan. That's right, he's Daddy Warbucks!
Also, a young William Daniels (Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World!) costars as, well, a younger version of Mr. Feeney.
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