#adaywithoutwomen

Happy International Women's Day!

Thank You Mary Tyler Moore

I grew up watching Nick at Nite, staying up as late as my parents would let me to watch Lucy and Ethel, Jeanie, and of course there was Mary Tyler Moore. I loved watching her on The Dick VanDyke Show as the intelligent and witty homemaker Laura Petrie AND on The Mary Tyler Moore Show as Mary Richards, strong, single working woman in her 30s.

The contrast between these two characters was such a great thing for my young mind. As a child, I didn't see them as two distinct characters, I saw them as two versions of the same woman and I grew up aspiring to be BOTH.

Just like Mary Tyler Moore, I could be a loving wife with awesome dance moves who enjoys hosting friends for dinner and occasionally gets into shenanigans involving a blow up boat in the living room or a closet full of walnuts and then after a commercial break and a hat throwing theme song, I could be comedically navigating awkward situations at work then hang out with my best friend in my own apartment.

For Mary Tyler Moore, Laura Petrie and Mary Richards were two different rolls, but for me, they were rolled up in one. She did both and so could I. My version of it looks a little different, currently balancing marriage and work, and not yet getting around to having kids (Shout out to The Mary Tyler Moore Show for portraying a woman in her thirties w/o kids!) but I will always be thankful to Mary for showing me it was possible to have my own version of it all.

From my vantage point now, I see that those shows aren't perfect. They portray somewhat idyllic versions life for women in the 60's and 70's-  a housewife, married to the man she loves, a man who has a good job insuring her the privilege of being able to stay home and raise their son and conversely a single woman who is educated and able to support herself in a white collar job where the snarky comments about her being unmarried and without children were part of the comedy the show was built on rather than something that is intrinsically wrong with her. I'm thankful that my life fits pretty well into this idyllic version of things too. This is a privilege, and not a reality for many women in the U.S. and around the world. When is why I continue to support any cause that helps women live their best lives like me, and both versions of Mary.

As I child, I just saw the characters, now as a woman with a foot in the entertainment industry, I have so much respect for Mary Tyler Moore and her roll within the industry. Along with her husband, she formed MTM Productions, which produced the groundbreaking Mary Tyler Moore Show among other hits. AND she put her cat in her logo.

PS. Both shows are available to watch on Hulu! Toss your hat in the air with joy!

I Marched in Seattle: What's Next?

Jenny took this photo of me nursing Fiona at the Womxn's March on Seattle last Saturday. If you haven't already, check out her thoughtful reflections on the march.

Last Saturday was an inspiring day for me. I marched with two of my best friends, my mom, my aunt, and my baby daughter. We wore our 30/30 Project "Healthcare is Human Right" t-shirts and gave away a bag full of them to fellow marchers with healthcare signs along the route. We arrived at Judkins Park in south Seattle at 9:30am and didn't start marching until nearly 1:00. By the time we reached the end of the route at the Seattle Center we were literally in the last 50 people (out of 130,000) to finish the march. It was a long day, Fiona was in her stroller for nearly 8 hours outside. I nursed her sitting cross legged on the lawn at Judkins Park on top of the stroller rain cover and then sitting on 4th Avenue with my back against the wall at Starbucks. And yet being a part of the march was energizing. Talking with fellow marchers, hearing the reasons people were out there, reading the empowering and clever signs that people had put together, joining with other Seattleites in song and cheers. It left me full of hope and enthusiasm.

But as I reflect back this week, and read several articles that gave me a lot of food for thought (here, here and here) I think the most important thing that I will take away from the experience is a drive to take that energy and continue to be engaged, using my voice, money and privilege to make a difference.

I want to be able to tell that little girl that I nursed on the side of the road that her mom stood up for what was right. That in the one of the darkest hours of our country's history, my children were there with me making a difference in our community, in our country, and in this world. I have been too much of a bystander already in the struggle for equality in this country.

Tonight I'm headed to my friend Brittany's house to sign postcards with friends to mail off to our representatives. Patrick and I are in the midst of deciding what additional organizations we want send monthly donations to that will be able to hold our government accountable or step in where services are no longer being offered. Our family will be marching again this year for causes we believe in. I am joining Jenny and others in educating ourselves about the intersection of race and feminism, and about practical steps we can take to recognize our privilege and stand with people of color in our community.

Now is the time to take action.

Marching in Seattle

I was blown away to know that MILLIONS of people around the world were marching on Saturday- as far away as Africa and Antartica! Teresa and I joined the march in Seattle, along with Teresa's mom, aunt, a couple of dear friends and FIONA!

After I got home from the march, I spent a couple of hours scrolling through social media, and was amazed to see the range of people from all different parts of my life who had been marching with me. One of my first babysitters was there, so was a young woman I babysat when I was in college! There were people I'd grown up with, women who have mentored me, friends who brought their mothers and grandmothers, pastors, church groups, doctors and nurses, stay at home moms, cancer survivors, sexual assault survivors, and so many kids! Just within the sampling of people I personally know who marched, I can tell you they represent a variety of voices and opinions, politics and religious views but regardless, they were all there together.

I marched as a way to recognize my privilege, and to stand strong with people who don't have the same privileges that I do. I marched to point out these inequalities. I marched because I can, because I'm thankful to live in a country where peaceful protesting is a protected right. And I marched wearing my "Healthcare is a human right" shirt, because that is something I wholeheartedly believe.

To the people who are reading this with curiosity or opposition, who voted for Trump, or just don't think American women have anything to complain about, I encourage you to read this. I also encourage you to reach out to me, or someone you know who participated and have a conversation. Really, you are part of the reason I marched, so people would see me and ask why I was there. To be completely honest, not too long ago, I would have been right there with you, wondering what people were complaining about and maybe even a little fearful of this thing that I didn't understand. As I've traveled across the country, and even to other parts of the city I live in, my understanding continues to change and my compassion continues to grow as I hear and see how America is a very different place for people who weren't born with the same privileges as me.

Like I said above, so many different views were represented in the massive sea of people marching. One of my friends who marched shared this on her social media today and many people I know who were at the march in D.C. have voiced that they didn't agree with everything that was being said by speakers there.

Here's a smattering of some of my favorite signs I saw along the way.

Of all the signs, this was my favorite and the most important. We can't just march and say we made a difference. We have to keep going.

"Many White Women Marched. Now What?" This is exactly what we should be asking ourselves, and answering.

Here's what march organizers suggest.


PS.  Shoutout to our amazing friend Brittany who knitted hats for us!

Something Exciting....#ImWithHer

Last week I had the opportunity to attend an event in Seattle in support of Hillary Clinton for President. My brother, Ryan, spoke eloquently about the 30/30 Project and what healthcare means to our family and then helped to introduce HRC to a VERY enthusiastic crowd! It was one of those days where you pinch yourself and say IS THIS REAL LIFE?

We don't talk much about politics on this blog (and we will keep it that way for the most part), but I've been a huge fan of Hillary for a very long time and was even more impressed with her in person. I couldn't be more excited to have my kids growing up in the era in which we have our first female president of the United States.

One of the things I was struck by at the event was how much it seemed like she was truly enjoying herself. The crowd loved her and she seemed very at ease and positive up front addressing the crowd. She is under a tremendous amount of stress but she sure does have stamina and seems genuinely excited about the prospect of the huge responsibility that may be ahead of her. I was impressed.

"What's a Girl Doing Here?"

This fabulous short by Diana Deroy about women cab drivers in New York City is well worth a watch.


"What's a girl doing here?" from Narratively on Vimeo.

Girl Power: REAL Women Who Shaped Me From the 90's

A couple of months back I did a post called Girl Power! 90's Fictional Characters Who Shaped Me and was encouraged with how many people it resonated with. Girls of the 90's unite!

Anyway, here's the follow up. Real life women I looked up to while growing up. Yes, I'm aware this is a super random conglomeration of people, what can I say, in my mind, this is who stuck out from the pack.

1. Michelle Kwan, Nancy Kerrigan, Kristi Yamaguchi, etc. I love women's figure skating. With every Olympics there was a new gold medal hopeful to learn all about and root for. Nancy Kerrigan definitely wins for the most soap opera-like story, thanks to Tanya Harding. For me, these ladies represented the perfect combination of beauty, determination and athleticism. 

2. 1996 US Women’s Gymnastic Team. This team was amazing, strong and determined and what’s more, they were all only a few years older than me. When I saw them, I loved how they cheered for each other, how determined they were, not to mention all of their great endorsement deals after. I wished I could be a gymnast but alas, I was tall and gangly, lacked muscles and had horrible balance. 

3. Princess Diana. For me, she was the first example of a celebrity who used their influence for good and someone who made me aware of the atrocities taking place in the world and inspired me to want to do something.
4. Mother Teresa. She was the epitome of doing good in the world. I still admire her.

5. Hillary Clinton. Even as a child I could tell that this was a first lady who did more than stand next to the president and wave.

6. Alanis Morissette. Way before Taylor Swift and Adele were writing songs about their personal lives, we had Alanis. Thanks to her, my vocabulary expanded to include the word "ironic" albeit not always in the correct context.

7. The Spice Girls. Yes, they were pretty much the opposite of Alanis, but they stood for their own version of girl power.

8. Claire Danes. Who else wanted to be her? Dating Jared Leto on TV and getting Leonardo DiCaprio in the movies.

Well, what do you think? 

Who's on your list of women who inspired you when you were growing up?

(Images via here, here, and here)

Happy International Women's Day

Happy International Women's Day to you!

10 great ways to celebrate the day

History of the day with great art and historical photos

TED Talks by some women I admire: Caroline Casey, JK Rowling, Sheryl Sandberg, Sheryl WuDunn, Elizabeth Gilbert, Madeline Albright, Isabel Allende

And a poem for you from Maya Angelou:

Phenomenal Woman

BY MAYA ANGELOU

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.